Stress, Anxiety and Moses

The adrenaline rushed through my body. My stomach was in knots; it felt like i was about to get an ulcer. My palms were cold but sweaty. They were trembling so much I sat on them to hide the shaking. My knees were shaking uncontrollably. My breaths were short and choppy. 

“Ya Allah, please make it end!” I thought in my mind.

These were my thoughts during any large tests I had to take during my memorization of the Qur’an. My teacher gave us skip tests. That means, she would start an ayah (or portion of an ayah), and we had to continue from wherever she left off. Just the thought of taking one of these tests would stress me out immensely.

After one particular test, I showed my teacher my trembling hands. “This is what happens when you test me,” I explained to her.

“Are you afraid of me?” my teacher asked me.

“No,” I responded. 

One would assume I had a super strict teacher, and that’s what stressed me out. In actuality, I’ve never been afraid of her. She’s like a hard candy with a gooey center. I love making that comparison about her, because she always pretends like she’s a strict teacher. In fact, she’s one of the softest and kindest hearted people I know.

So what caused this extreme anxiety and stress? I realized that it may have been the content of what I was studying—the importance of the material I was attempting to place in my heart, mind and ultimately my actions. These words, which I was and am still attempting to internalize and live by, are none other than the words of Ar-Rahman.

Had We sent down this Quran on a mountain, you would surely have seen it humbling itself and rending asunder by the fear of Allah. Such are the parables which We put forward to mankind that they may reflect. (Hashr: 21)

What I finally realized right before my final test for the Quran, is that Allah is the only one who can calm me down. As I waited for my teacher to start testing me, I repeatedly recited the du’a that Moses made to Allah.

[Moses] said, "My Lord, expand for me my breast. And ease for me my task. And untie the knot from my tongue. That they may understand my speech.” (Ta Ha: 25-28)

Although my nervousness wasn’t completely eliminated, I definitely felt the calmest I’ve ever been during a test, and my recitation was slow and controlled. So next time you’re freaking out before reciting, or talking, recite the du’a that Moses made, and let Allah calm you down.

IKEA Hack - Family Room Shelf DIY

This shelf unit is sturdy and sleek with just the right amount of natural texture. It’s incredibly simple to make, and relatively inexpensive at around $100 for a significant amount of space. I hacked the IKEA MULIG shelves, because they’re tall, strong and made of black metal—We have a lot of black metal accents as well as natural fibers in our family room. Even though these shelves are actually designed for the garage, the addition of sisal rope on either side makes them belong perfectly our family room. For our particular needs, our completed shelves had to:

1. Be strong enough to fit all of the kids’ heavy encyclopedias and workbooks. Since the kids are homeschooled in the family room most of the time, they need space for their materials.
2. Be large enough to fit all the books, toys, games, and their ceramic works of art. The previous shelf unit was brimming over with too much stuff.
3. Be tall enough to keep important books and delicate items out of reach of younger visiting cousins and friends. The top shelf in the previous unit was too low.
4. Eliminate the sliding of books down the sides of the shelves—We had that issue with the previous shelves because of a significant gap between the shelf bottom and shelf side.
5. Be stylish enough to fit in our family room!

This DIY can be done with as many shelf units as you need for your space, and with any shelf unit without sides—not just the MULIG. Simply wrap rope around both ends of the completed shelf unit, secure with a knot at each end of the rope, and adhere with super glue!

Materials:

2 IKEA MULIG shelf units ~ $40 each — Or any other shelf unit without sides

2 spools of 1/4 in. by 100 ft. sisal rope ~ $10 each — Or any other thickness of rope you prefer

Clear Gorilla Super Glue ~ $5 — Or any other super strong glue

Steps:

1) Assemble the MULIG shelves (or other shelf unit) as directed.

2) Remove the packaging from one spool of rope. Tie a knot around the top bar of one side of the shelf. Tightly wrap the rope around the side of the the shelf, going up or down with each loop until you reach the bottom of the shelf. You can choose a fixed pattern, or you can go for a more random look. I decided on the random look for our family room.

3) Once you like the look of the rope on the side, tie a knot to secure the bottom end of the rope. You can either cut the leftover rope, or you can tie it around the bottom of the back part of the shelf so it is not visible from the front. I chose to tie it rather than cut it.

4) Repeat on the other side of your set of shelves.

5) Apply super glue to the knots and other areas of the rope which might slip.

6) Secure the shelves to the wall using screws.

7) Decorate your shelves with books, plants, and anything else your heart desires!

It’s Not About You

“I wish I could memorize the Quran, but I have kids.”

“I wish I could memorize the Quran, but I have a full time job.”

“I wish I could memorize the Quran, but I homeschool.”

“I wish I could memorize the Quran, but I’m so busy right now.”

I often hear people express interest in memorization of the Qur’an, only to follow with a reason for why they are unable to do it in their current situation. I completely understand where they’re coming from. Before I started my journey (and most of the time during my journey) of memorization, I felt the same way. Logically, one would think that such a colossal endeavor would require an immense amount of time that someone who has countless responsibilities would be unable to accomplish…Or that someone who memorizes the Qur’an has special powers. :-)

What changed my thinking, however, is when I used to look at my sister in law when she was memorizing. She had 3 kids (while I had 2) who she homeschooled; she spent a lot of time with my brother (since she’s a good wife); she was a good daughter in law to my parents (who lived with her), she hosted homeschool classes in her home, and she was one of the founders of the Muslim Homeschool Network. Logically, she did not have enough time to memorize the Quran. There just weren’t enough hours in a day for her to fulfill all of her responsibilities while still having enough time to review old, review recent memorization, and memorize a new page. It was impossible.

But she did it.

How? How did she accomplish the impossible? Simple. It wasn’t about her. That’s the thing we often forget. When we decide to memorize the Quran, we’re asking Allah to make us an instrument in the preservation of the Qur’an. All we have to do is put in the effort; the rest is up to Allah. He is the one who makes it happen. So yes, she did put in effort, and she logically did not have enough time, but Allah placed barakah in her time and in her efforts. I witnessed this barakah.

So next time you want to accomplish something and Shaitaan uses an excuse to try to convince you that you can’t do it, remind yourself: It’s not about you. Allah can make it happen.